What’s a Petard?
My son Robert, aka Bod Frank, was a very verbose little boy. When he was two, before he had a large vocabulary and a whole lot of opinions, often he would just suddenly blurt out advertising and branding messages such as, “TA Tires!” or “Your news on the hour and half hour from KLBJ-AM.” When he got to be five or six years old, he had a large vocabulary and lots of opinions for a kid that age. He talked a lot. So much that Helen nicknamed him “The Pontiff.” A neighbor drew a comparison to Cliff Clavin.
Anyway, one weekend when Bob was seven or eight we were in Dallas visiting Helen’s parents Midge and Pat. One of their best friends, a guy named Bill Kay, is what you would call a “hail fellow well met.” He’s a nice guy who loves to talk to say the least. Bill stopped by Midge and Pat’s for cocktail hour that Saturday and he asked young Bobby how he was doing. Big mistake. Bobby cornered Bill for a long conversation about who knows what. It might have been the Space Shuttle one of Bobby’s areas of expertise. I glanced at my father in-law Pat who was obviously as amused as I was at the irony of Bill being cornered in conversation by Bobby. Then Pat said something that I’d never heard before. Referring to Bill Kay he said, “He’s being hoisted with his own petard.” I love the expression which is from Shakespeare’s Hamlet and basically it means to be blown up with your own bomb. As my father told me, “everything is from Shakespeare or the bible.”
Why am I telling you all this? Because when I heard that Mack Brown had complained about the time commitment required for his three shows a week on the Longhorn Network and that LHN was aiding opposing coaches’ preparation for games with Texas: I thought, He’s being hoisted with his own petard. After all, every time over the past 10 years or so anytime anyone has criticized Mack Brown, his biggest fans were sure to talk about all the money Brown had made for Texas and how great he has been for the brand. So isn’t the Longhorn Network Brown’s $300 million Pièce de résistance? Funny too how LHN didn’t become a problem until Texas lost two games in a row. Honestly I thought the idea of the Longhorn Network was stupid from the get go. Who wants to watch football players lifting weights and sitting around in baby pools filled with ice water let alone 20 hours a week of women’s soccer? Is there any wonder it’s been so hard to get deals with cable operators to carry it? I suppose if Texas loses a couple of more games this year LHN could gain the appeal of reality television or that of a Maury or Jerry Springer. We’ve also heard that Mack instructed trainers to tape both ankles of injured players so the opposing coaches watching LHN wouldn’t know which ankle was hurt. Isn’t that like Jimmy Carter controlling the reservations for the White House tennis courts? Is it me or is Mack losing his marbles? Oh well, I guess it takes one to know one and I’m pretty sure that I’m losing mine.
Three Season Slump
Following a National Championship in 1963 and a 10-1 record with victory over #1 Alabama in the Orange Bowl in the 1964 season Darrell Royal’s Longhorns went 6-4 in ’65, 7-4 in ’66 and 6-4 in ’67. In 1968 Texas began the season with a tie and a loss before starting a 30 game winning streak stretching over the next three seasons that brought them two National Championships. The 1968 season also was the first of six straight Southwest Conference Championships for Texas.
If 2012 turns out to be the third year of a slump we can be comforted by the precedent of Darrell Royal’s three season slump in 1965-67. Maybe, but I’ll point out at least one big difference. In 1968 Darrell Royal was 44. In 2013 Mack Brown will be 62. I better be careful drawing that comparison. I could be hoisting myself on my own petard.
Going Out On a Limb
Oklahoma is favored by 10 points at home over Notre Dame on Saturday night. I think Notre Dame will win outright. This is based solely on my intuition about this game and my belief that Notre Dame is luckier than average. Also I think Oklahoma is good but not great and if they’re not playing Texas they seem to be losing all their big games the last few years. Let me reiterate that I’m a career loser in betting on football and I retired from betting in 1980 when I lost $100 because the kicker for the New York Giants missed an extra point at the end of a game. That gave me one of those rare moments of clarity.
HooK eM,
W.E.
Over/Under
[contact-form 2 “Over Under Contest”]
