Various and Sundry
With a tip of the hat to the legendary Texas political figure Ben Barnes, here’s my annual Various and Sundry column.
Jim Harbaugh
When the Texas Football Head Coaching job opened up in December 2013, if I had been in charge, my first choice would have been Jim Harbaugh. At the time, it was being reported that a mutual contempt had developed between Harbaugh and his employer, the San Francisco 49ers, and it was rumored that Harbaugh had expressed interest in the UT job through the coaching grapevine. I knew that Harbaugh’s personality and UT weren’t a good fit and that it was extremely unlikely he would be hired.
When Charlie Strong was hired I was very pleased and fully on-board. But I can’t help having a slight case of the green-eyed monster, looking at the early success Jim Harbaugh is having in his first year at Michigan. It is his first year and he’s only four games in. His predecessor at Michigan, Brady Hoke, was 11-2 his first year with a Sugar Bowl win. So there aren’t any statues being built in Ann Arbor just yet. I’m just saying…
A Vast Majority
Big 12 supervisor of football officials Walt Anderson said, regarding the officiating of the UT-Oklahoma State game, ” I evaluate every play, and I think we got the vast majority right.” Ok, I think I get it, it’s like, a vast majority of the people who ate Blue Bell ice cream didn’t die, or a vast majority of the information on my federal income tax return was accurate, or a vast majority of the planes that took off on the morning of 911 didn’t fly into buildings, or I wasn’t drunk or stoned on a vast majority of the days while was in college? Well, three out of four ain’t bad.
May You Live in Interesting Times
Last weekend, I was in my bathroom, you know, reading the Wall Street Journal on my iPad when it started ringing. This really blew my mind, the fact that me, an overfed, long-haired, leaping gnome… But really, I thought to myself, what could that mean? Am I going crazy, or is this just a dream? Now wait a minute, I know I’m in my bathroom reading the Wall Street Journal, so it’s all in my head and then my iPad kept on ringing. Wow. It turns out I made some kind of selection when downloading the new Apple iOS on my iPhone that hooked it up with my iPad. You can talk on the telephone with an iPad. Who knew?
Right after my iPad rang, I was so discombobulated that getting ready to shave, I splashed pre-shave lotion in my eye. That smarts.
Swoopes!
I’m not sure what it is that Tyrone Swoopes did on his runs in the Oklahoma State game that Jerrod Heard couldn’t do. Swoopes didn’t run over anyone and, in fact, we know that he doesn’t particularly care for contact. Oh well, I guess at the very least it saved a few hits on Heard. I’m not sure those plays could be effective again, unless Jay Norvell adds a quick pass out of that pre-snap look.
Big Downer
Charlie Strong seemed genuinely surprised when he was told by a reporter at the end of his weekly press conference that Texas was 18-point underdog against TCU he muttered, “What a big downer,” as he walked from the podium.
Speaking of big downers, if you think there aren’t any more creative ways for Texas to lose, think again mon frère. In addition to a missed extra point and fumbled snap by the punter, here are few more Texas could add to their repertoire:
- The old fumbled hold on an extra point or field goal trick.
- The old Tyrone Swoopes fumbled snap on the goal line a la the Baylor game last year.
- The oldie but goodie failure to successfully defend the Hail Mary.
- Daje Johnson could, while wide, wide open in the end zone, drop a pass.
- Duke Thomas, who wears Blake Gideon’s #21, could let a game clinching interception slither through his hands, arms, and legs.
I’m just trying to be helpful.
Lock of the Week
Welcome to Willie Earl’s newest feature, the Lock of the Week.
Alabama +2 @Georgia.
Georgia always chokes. Take Alabama and the points. Alabama wins by 9.
My Gut
My gut tells me Texas starts as if the 11:07 a.m. kickoff is too early for them, and they fall behind 21-0 before they wake up. The Horns lose again this week 48-31.
Take heart. Sometimes I’m wrong.
HooK ‘eM,
W.E.
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