Ole Miss Pre-Game

The Smoking Gun

I have been obsessively reading blogs, newsletters and newspaper articles this week on the subject of Longhorn Football. Around 10:30 Wednesday night, I asked myself, “why am I reading basically the same analysis by different writers and fans over and over again?”  Perhaps I could be doing something more useful with my time. Yet, on Thursday, I still was spending too much time combing through blogs that were regurgitating the same information that I had read earlier in the week.  This morning it dawned on me why I was obsessed with this stuff. I’ve been looking for the “smoking gun”–the equivalent of the June 23, 1972, taped conversation between Nixon and Haldeman–the  key evidence that pinpoints where to place the blame for the woes that have afflicted the Texas football team over the last three–plus years. Further, I wanted it to point in one direction.  Mack Brown must be looking for the smoking gun, too.  I wonder what he will do if and when he finds it.  Nixon haldeman

The Mack Brown Bounce Back 

 A hallmark of Mack Brown’s Texas teams has been their ability to bounce back quickly from humiliating blowout losses. Here’s a brief re-cap.

In 2000, lost to Oklahoma 63-14, then won the next week at Colorado 28-14, and finished the rest of the season without a loss. Final record: 9-3. Key players on offense for Texas during the post-Oklahoma winning streak were: Major Applewhite, Hodges Mitchell, B.J. Johnson, Roy Williams, and Chris Simms. On defense: Casey Hampton, Cory Redding, and Quentin Jammer.

In 2003, lost to Oklahoma 65-13, then won the next week at Iowa St. 40-19, and finished the rest of the regular season without a loss. Final record: 10-3. Key players on offense were: Vince Young, Cedric Benson, and Roy Williams. The defense was led by Brian Robison, Derrick Johnson, Michael Huff, and Aaron Ross.

In 2007, lost to Kansas St. at home 41-21, and the next week lost to Oklahoma 28-21. After that loss, they went on a five-game win streak before finishing the regular season with a loss to A&M. Texas was led by Colt McCoy, Jamaal Charles, Quan Cosby and Jordan Shipley on offense. On defense,Texas had budding stars Brain Orakpo, Sergio Kindle, and Roy Miller. Final record 10-3.

In 2010, lost to UCLA at home 34-12, and the next week they lost a close game to Oklahoma 28-20 that they were in to the end. In the next game they upset #6 Nebraska on the road 20-13. That victory turned out to be a “dead cat bounce” as they then lost four. Final record: 5-7.

Last year, lost to Oklahoma 63-21, then won the next week at home against Baylor 56-50, and won three in a row after that. Final record: 9-4.

You can see the tendency in Brown’s teams to suffer seemingly inexplicable lapses in lopsided losses, sometimes in games where they were comfortable favorites. Much has been said and written about this issue with Brown’s Texas teams. I don’t wish to tread over that ground here.

In discussions with friends and on talk radio this week, I have heard predictions of the Mack Brown Bounce Back for Texas this week. Maybe. But for the 2013 Longhorns, who will fill the roles on offense of  Major Applewhite, Vince Young, Colt McCoy or even Cedric Benson or Jamaal Charles? On defense, who’s the 2013 equivalent of Casey Hampton, Cory Redding, Brian Orakpo, or Quentin Jammer?

Mack Brown needs to find the answers to those questions and fast, if he’s going to have this team doing that old dance craze the “Mack Brown Bounce Back” in 2013.

Speaking of dancing, I’ve been composing again and I’ve written a little ditty for this week.

“Coaches and Consultants”

 

To be sung to the tune of Lawyers Guns and Money

I was doing my clap clap clap
The way I always should
How was I to know
That my team was no good      

We were playing BYU
I got a little pissed
Send coaches and consultants
They’ll get me out of this hyeah

Now we have to play Ole Miss
I’m a desperate man
Send coaches and consultants
The shit has hit the fan

Send coaches and consultants Huh!

Send coaches and consultants Uh!

Send coaches and consultants Ohh!

Send coaches and consultants

Ohh!

Yeah!

Yeah!

Yeah!

Oh!

Over/Under Contest

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5 Comments to “Ole Miss Pre-Game”

  1. That’s an inspired selection from the greatest smartass songwriter musician of all time by my favorite smartass sports blogger. Nice riffs on the classic riffs, and if I may add a stanza drawing on Mr. Zevon’s refrain:

    I’m the innocent bystander (on the sidelines)
    My assistants they all suck
    I’m just a CEO coach
    And I’m down on my luck
    Yes I’m down on my luck
    Well I’m down on my luck

    It was our fortune that we got to listen to some of the best all-time post-disco music back in our day to complement the privilege of watching Earl and some decent football, at least for a season. Keep ‘em comin’, Shotgun Willie.

    As for Ole Miss, not much to say, except to say that I caught “The Blind Side” again on the tube the other night; I guess Sandra Bullock moved out of Austin so no chance of seeing her at the game with Matt McConaughey, who won’t be showing up either. Guess show time’s over for Mack, though Vince Young might turn up since he doesn’t have anything better to do.

    Hope the tailgate goes well at least, and maybe there will be that bounce, dead cat or whatever, ‘cause it will just be kind of a thud whatever happens.

  2. Walking the fine line of rooting for the kids/program, but wanting coaches to fail so we can make a change. It’s been a great run… but it’s over. The mediocrity only inspires more of the same. Gone are the days when 1 loss would wreck an entire season. Today I heard of our recent cume record of 23-17. Jesus, I knew we had fallen but That was tough to hear. Saw clips of Robinson’s ’04 defense and was both giddy from memories of DJ, Wright, Robinson, et al, serving up pain… but disgusted by the ease at which today’s program lacks heart. I’m sure the guys work hard in the gym… I’m sure they’re strong & athletic, but that’s a minor metric for football. Beat the man in front of you. Either he beats you, or you beat him. It’s a fight, and I feel like we’re Balboa in Rocky III with all the glitz & glamour. Here’s to hoping we go Clubber Lang on Ol’ Miss’s ass. Yo Adrian!

    • Yes. As our local talk show host and Horn all American kicker says repeatedly, “it’s not about scheme. It’s just a question of, can your guys shove around their guys.

  3. Ah yes, the infamous Willie Earl “dead-cat bounce.” I wager there couldn’t be more than 3 or 4 households in the US where “honyock” and “dead cat bounce” are used as often.

    Lots of noise on the internet that Dodds will be out by the end of the year.

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